I remember exercising in high school and barely making it through a workout. I would work out in front of the mirror and would focus on the bits of my body that I did not like. I saw exercise as a tool to curate “perfection” and not being able to attain the standard of sensuality that society places on women to be desirable left me feeling somewhat defeated. When you are a teenager, looks matter and the anxiety that stems from wanting to fit in leaves you in a state of fight or flight. Exercise was a way to motivate myself to attain society’s unrealistic standard of perfection. But I am happy to declare that I no longer view exercise in this way. I have started to see movement as medicine. A remedy that is accompanied by other forms of therapy, can create a version of you that strives and thrives.
For most of my life, I felt uncomfortable in my body. Moving it felt weird, and family Christmas parties were awkward because I never allowed myself to loosen or dance in front of the aunties and uncles. Plus, my mom did not make it any easier by being the confident and bold life of the party.
When I entered my teenage years, my body changed and my sensual side became more apparent, but I refused to embrace it because it felt like I did not have permission to do so. It felt like most of the society was policing young girls and their choices of clothing. Although I prefer to dress modestly, it is ridiculous how girls as young as the early teens are sexualised in society. Out of fear of being objectified, I felt self-conscious about what I wore, and I would hide my body behind baggy pants and my brothers’ oversized hoodies.
Initially, I did not embrace my body as the instrument that allowed me to move through this world. Something that helped me view my body as a sacred instrument was yoga. I started a 30-day yoga challenge in March 2020, and it was the best decision of my life (and I do not mean this lightly). Yoga transformed my life and supported me in adopting a gentler approach to my health. It enabled me to recognise the significance of finding your “flow” and allowing instead of pushing and resisting. I hardly resonate with fast-paced exercise like HIIT and often felt like a failure when I could not complete a workout. I am still teaching myself to balance the need to push myself and the need to rest. It’s a symptom of most recovering perfectionists. But I know I will get there.
One of the best ways to release repressed emotion is through movement and exercise. We hold a lot of our emotions in our muscles, tissues and organs and it is important to release them to prevent us from imploding.
When I was younger, I took ballet classes, and I had a really fun time because my best friend took the classes with me, and we could be silly and playful. She was the poised, graceful dancer and I was the awkward but sassy one. I gave my ballet teacher a hard time. But even though I felt weird moving in such a graceful way, it helped me shift out of my comfort zone and I learned that it is okay to be “bad” at something.
I played soccer too in my teens. My brother and I would go to a nearby high school with a couple of his friends and play. I was a tomboy (which probably explains why ballet did not come naturally to me). I was quite an aggressive but passionate soccer player. My favourite player was Francesco Totti, and I was tiny but fierce. I would run up and down hoping someone would pass to me but when I got the ball I would freeze and panic. It was a good experience, and I would often come home exhausted but satisfied on a Sunday afternoon.
Movement is important. It is a natural part of life, and it brings in a new energy. When we move, we grow. The world is at a point where growth, wellness, vitality, and movement are required to bring about a new dimension of progress. You do not need to be a professional athlete. Taking a hike in nature, doing a short 15-minute yoga session, or simply having a dance party in your room with the curtains closed suffices. Many benefits go beyond what we would expect. Movement elevates your mood, improves your focus, and generates creativity. It also connects your mind to your body in a more holistic way. Your movement becomes more fluid and organic, and this creates a more confident version of you which is never a bad thing.
Finally, taking care of your body can serve as an act of worship to God. When we take care of the gifts God has given, we please Him. It brings Him joy when we use our bodies to carry out His work and He encourages us to take good care of our health as the body is the sacred holder of our soul and it is how we serve humanity. To conclude, allow me to share this Hidden Word by Baha’u’llah. I encourage you to reflect on this verse and recognize the significance of sustaining our health gently and lovingly….
“O Son of Man! The temple of being is My throne; cleanse it of all things, that there I may be established and there I may abide.”
By entering a state of flow and by honouring the sacredness of these divine vessels of life that we have been given, we grant ourselves the perfect opportunity to transition from striving and thriving to blooming in bliss.
